phantomlady84

12AM
The wind is beating
against the window panes,
the harbinger of
torrential rains.
tree limbs shaking
like ghosts with chains,
time is ticking
away the grains.

12AM
The wind is howling,
screaming down the darkened street,
Kicking doors in with
figment feet.
Assailing sleepers
so indiscreet.
Softening now,
a lamb that bleats.

12AM
The air is still,
decidedly out of breath.
A pall, a brume
is all that's left.
I don't know what's worse-
The howling or the
sudden death.

you.
you tainted me,
painted me
dripping in black.
I.
I waited patiently
but you never
never
came back.

I waste away in the acid rain
and I will never be the same.
thoughts of you inflame the pain
as my dreams flow down the drain.

I.
I never healed,
though I did conceal
a wound that bled
unceasingly.
You.
You smile and sing
and the tales you bring
of your life now
kill me increasingly.

I waste away in the acid rain
and I will never be the same.
thoughts of you inflame the pain
as my dreams flow down the drain.

I.
I have learned from this
I float alone, amiss
but I need no guidance.
From you least of all.

You.
You can pretend,
it never happened.
But I'll never forget
why I withdraw.

Snowflakes fall from the heavily impregnated clouds. As they descend, they seek shelter from the cold within my lips. As their crystalline structures dissolve in my mouth I taste the sky.

It's a dreary January afternoon. They sky is grey and the clouds hang low. The air has a chilling bite but the cold doesn't bother me. I'm used to it by now, nearly a year of walking the same path at the same time every day.
For a change today I cut through the cemetery. There's something intrinsically peaceful about walking through a graveyard with AFI's Great Disappointment blaring against my eardrums. It's one of those moments that you can't imagine happening in any other way, it just feels right.
As I walk, careful not to tread over anyone's final rest, I can't help but notice all of the false flower bouquets, strewn haphazardly among the graves, blown from their urns by the wind. It occurs to me that perhaps there is a method to the wind's madness, for the stray flowers all seem to have landed over the graves that no one visits anymore- unmarked, faded away with time, the lonely spots where no loving hands press the grass.
As my detour meets it's end I vaguely regret leaving this place, leaving this peace. But I can always return another day.

Great Disappointment, AFI
I can remember, a place I used to go.
Chrysanthemums of white
They seemed so beautiful.
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth.
I'd shut my eyes, to see.

Oh how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones.
I knew they would appear, saw not a single one.
Oh how I smiled then, waiting so patiently.
I'd make a wish and bleed.

While I waited , I was wasted away
While I waited , I was wasted away

I can remember...dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized dreams were the only place to see them.

While I waited , I was wasted away
While I waited , I was wasted away
While I waited , I was wasted away

Hope was wasting away.
Faith was wasting away.
I was wasting away.

I never, never wanted this.
I always wanted to believe.
Never never wanted this.
How could I have become?
Never Never wanted this.
From the start I'd been deceived.
Never never wanted this.
How could I have become?

I never, never wanted this.
I always wanted to believe.
Never never wanted this.
Never Never wanted this.
From the start I'd been deceived.
Never never wanted this.

Inside a crumbling effigy
(But you promised)
So dies all innocence
(But you promised me)

While I waited , I was wasted away
While I waited , I was wasted away
While I waited , I was wasted away

Hope was wasted away.
Faith was wasted away.
I was wasted away.

Sparkling fragments of shattered glass occupy as hours pass...I could watch the tiny reflection forever, marvel at the shifting of colors as they dance on the jagged edge...There is a lonliness in the breaking of glass, something dies when it falls to the ground. All the pieces scatter in all directions, impossible to put back together. Like a broken soul.

How can you put a soul back together? Where do you even begin? And if you are alone, is the feat impossible? I can't hold the glue and arrange the fragments by myself. I can't keep letting the shards shred my fingertips, my veins are wanting for blood. I can't do this alone!

Perhaps it's better to just leave the pieces where the fall, let them slowly become absorbed into the scenery, let years of soil and neglect shroud their loveliness. Maybe one day you'll find one, see a glint in the corner of your eye, retrieve the mysterious treasure, and marvel like I did at the long forgotten jewel.

Maybe. Or maybe you'll just keep walking, only vaguely interested in that strange crunching sound beneath your feet.

it's this motherfucking shortleash you've got wrapped around my neck.
It's cutting off my circulation and my intellect.
Every god damn time I try to turn around
it pulls me down and drags me to the ground.

my teeth are gnashing but I can't gnaw free
will I ever get your fucking claws out of me?
will I ever jump the barbed wire fences that you made?
I am just a worthless dog who does just what you bade.

it's this motherfucking shortleash that's asphyxiating me
I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't dream, I can't see.
My lungs are burning as I twist against the confines
writhing just makes it worse, I cannot unwind.

my teeth are gnashing but I can't gnaw free
will I ever get your fucking claws out of me?
Will I ever jumpt the barbed wire fences that you made?
I am just a worthless dog who does just what you bade.

Testing out a hyperlink...

Ice clings to me now
Like those old Norse gods of yore
I am entombed.